Psalm 12: Double Hearts and Honest Words

While I have spent most of my life working to NOT be a people pleaser, I am in no way someone who flatters falsely — kissing booty, if you will.

“They speak deceitful and worthless words to one another; with flattering lips and a double heart they speak.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭12‬:‭2‬ ‭AMP‬‬

I believe the Lord has deeply called us to encourage one another. What today reminds me of, though, is that there is a tension and a difference. There is a difference between flattery and encouragement. Flattery says what benefits the speaker. Encouragement says what benefits the listener. Flattery comes from a place of wanting approval or keeping the peace at all costs. Encouragement calls out the gold in someone because you genuinely see it and want them to walk in it.

As I read this, what sticks out to me is agreeing with people just to agree and not ruffle feathers. That’s something I’ve had to grow through. Obviously, we need wisdom when we disagree with someone. The older I get, the more I want to listen and speak less.

The Lord made me to be an encourager, and I want to walk in that gifting.

I will say, I’m not someone who can simply flatter people. I’m not wired that way. When I watch people doing that, it honestly kind of grosses me out. People pleaser? Yes. Flattery? No.

If I affirm someone, it’s because I mean it. I love calling out unique giftings in people. It's a gift of mine. It’s also something I’ve had to be careful with because, on the opposite side, if I’m not mindful, I can fail to see someone’s challenges in lieu of celebrating all their gifting and potential.

I’ve learned that the hard way. It has come at a cost.

Reading Job alongside this is also a reminder that while we shouldn’t share our opinion at every given moment or feel the need to correct every wrongdoing, there is still responsibility in how we speak.

There is a tension — a fine line — between encouragement, speaking the truth in love and falling prey to being critical or judgmental, casting a stone, or pointing out a speck in someone else’s eye… especially when I may have a speck in my own.

I’d be curious what you thought about today’s chapter, or even what you think about the difference of flattery and genuine encouragement. Where do you see that line in your own life?