“I Love You, Lord, My Strength” — Psalm 18 Coming In Clutch!
- Kami Pentecost
- Feb 17
- 2 min read
Yesterday was supposed to just be President’s Day. Kids home. Play a little pickleball. A movie with my girl (I absolutely do not recommend Wuthering Heights). A day that I would have Imagined to be normal, In many ways.
Then the the email came. The temporary order was put in place. It is now just a matter of time before Keimani goes back to live with his biological mother. I have known this was coming. I have prayed for it. I have believed it was best for him after therapy, prayer, and long conversations with professionals who love him. Logically, I am grateful. Spiritually, I trust the Lord completely. My heart, however, had its own reaction.
Around six or seven last night, the grief hit like a freight train. Every time I looked at his face, I had to walk away so I wouldn’t cry in front of him. He has his own transition to process. I do not need to place my grief on his shoulders.
I found myself looking and reading through Psalm 18-- Anything, give me anything Lord.
I read Psalm 18 four times yesterday. Nothing initially jumped off the page.
Then right before bed, it hit home: “I love You, Lord, my strength.” Other translations say, “I love You, Lord, with all my strength.” That was it. That was the stitch.
Grief does not disappear overnight. Healing does not always happen instantly. Sometimes it feels more like the Lord is stitching something together slowly. Each time we lean in instead of pushing it down, another stitch. Another layer of healing. Eventually there is a scar. You remember and you will always carry the memory, but you are no longer bleeding.
Last night I needed the reminder that God is my rock. My emotions certainly cannot be counted on, neither can my plans or even my role In this child's life. He is my strength, He will walk me through this and I do not have to do it alone.
If you are walking through transition or unexpected grief, stay in the Word. Even if you have to read it four times. Sometimes the comfort is waiting on the fourth read.
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