When It Feels Like the Wicked Are Winning: 1 Samuel 22

“Saul was sitting at Gibeah under the tamarisk tree on the height with his spear in his hand, and all his servants were standing around him.”—1 Samuel 22:6 AMP

There have been seasons in my walk with the Lord where it has felt frustrating to watch people do the wrong thing over and over—and somehow still seem to be winning. I’ve cried out to God more than once, asking when He was going to step in. When was justice going to show up?

Something shifted today as I read about Saul..."On paper, he has everything. He’s king. Yet the picture painted in this verse couldn’t be more tragic. He’s sitting under a tree, gripping his spear, completely tormented. Jealous. Paranoid. Consumed with fear, pride, and loneliness. That’s not what winning looks like."

No matter what someone’s life looks like on the outside, there’s no peace for a person who’s constantly operating out of insecurity, control, or self-preservation. That is the consequence. That is the justice. It’s easy to focus on what people seem to be getting away with. It’s harder, but more freeing, to remember that misery always follows rebellion—even if it’s not immediately visible.

The more I sat with this, the more I realized I don’t actually want what I thought I did. I don’t need to see someone fall apart to feel better. What I really want is peace in my own heart, no matter what others are doing.

God sees everything. Even what I can’t.