Kindness Isn't Weakness: A Reflection from 1 Samuel 25 & 26

I didn’t share much from 1 Samuel 25 right away. The story of Abigail hit a little close to home. Her dynamic with Nabal felt very familiar—dysfunctional marriage. Years after walking through my own divorce, it still stirred something in me I didn’t expect. It’s been almost nine years, and it’s wild how something can feel so fresh when Scripture puts language to your lived experience.

And then I found myself in chapter 26, watching David show restraint for the second time. Another chance to take Saul’s life, another moment where he chose to trust God over grasping control. One of the girls in our Bible study said It like this: “People often misinterpret kindness for weakness.” That’s exact thing I’ve been wrestling with.

I was in a meeting recently, navigating some tense interactions, when a good friend later said to me, “I was so impressed by the restraint you showed.” It caught me off guard—because I wasn’t even thinking about it like that. I just knew I wanted to show up kind. The person was off. I was giving grace If you will. I certainly felt the tension and harsh responses, but because I don't know what Is happening with her I didn't react. If I had been the one dishing the frustration, I would’ve wanted someone to respond with grace.

So much of life (especially as a single parent) feels like tension between standing firm while being kind. In the spiritual sense It feels like an instinct to defend AND the invitation to trust. Both Abigail and David modeled something I needed to see:

Wisdom doesn’t yell. Strength doesn’t always swing. And kindness isn’t weakness.

Sometimes restraint is the most powerful thing we can offer—not because we don’t feel the fire, but because we’ve learned where to take it.

Listen here: 1 Samuel 25 & 26 VLOG