I was so lazy yesterday. It felt great. It was my Sabbath. Other than going to church and to a meeting; I did absolutely nothing.
If you aren't sure what a Sabbath is, watch this, Take The Day Off. This should help you better understand.
I couldn’t help but look at the verses from yesterday as an inventory, if you will, a list of items to look at and see where my flesh is winning verse my spirit.
“19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.”
Galatians 5:19-26
My spirit is willing and my flesh is so weak is all I kept thinking about yesterday. I’m currently walking through a tough season. I have no other choice but to trust in the Lord. My 3 bio kids have been at their dad's home. Syrus and Keimani are with me. No matter how I feel about it, it is what it is. Lots of healing is needed in the lives of my oldest 4 for reconciliation and wholeness. They are all seeing a therapist. So am I. Im working with a sponsor too. AND most importantly we all love Jesus and believe in Him.
Nothing helps with the "illusion of control" for this lady better than losing all control. I can choose to trust God or not. As I go down this road I have 2 choices; surrender to the Spirit or to my flesh. I have a pretty good checklist to look at (for those of you like me who need a guide) in Galatians 5 today. My flesh is powerless. It really is and so Im asking the Lord to take the reigns. It's such a humbling process but ultimately I get to let go and let God. Im leaning on a couple truths. I believe that God is good and is working all things for our good. I believe He is good to me and my kids. I believe He is really good at being God, so I've decided to let Him. Im so excited for how it will all unfold.
He’s showing me where self-reliance and my "need to control" is very unhealthy. Peace is coming as I surrender all my fretting and trying to figure things out. Joy is showing up unexpectedly too when circumstances should prove to be all frustration. I am overly tired and my anxiety is high a-lot, but when I recognize these things, Im turning it over.
As I read this yesterday,I knew my flesh was winning because I wasn’t feeling the peace that the Holy Spirit produces. Im so thankful for such a direct and immediate reminder.
What I love about reading a chapter of the Bible each day is the daily revelations I have as well as a solid foundation of truth Im building for the long haul.
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