Okay so Im officially posting this blog, however I wrote it in 2 parts. This first part I wrote and reflected on this morning, but the second part, after an AHA moment I had later in the day. My verse for today was, “But Abram replied, “O Sovereign Lord, what good are all your blessings when I don’t even have a son? Since you’ve given me no children, Eliezer of Damascus, a servant in my household, will inherit all my wealth.”
Genesis 15:2 NLT
I’m so drawn to how direct Abram is here. He truly feels comfortable to share his frustration about being fatherless. I struggle to complain and speak negative. That doesn’t mean those thoughts don’t cross my mind. And I truly do understand what David models for us in Psalms with how he vents in a healthy way, through lamenting, but yeah it’s a block for me. I also recognize he’s
not just complaining, venting or feeling with just anyone. He’s speaking directly to the one who can do something to truly comfort and/or change his circumstances.
Now this second part comes from an AHA I had in a class today: Healthy Love vs Love Addiction. I only shared the link because I want it to help those who can benefit from it, but in reality I don't know you'll feel as I did when I heard it because I don't know if you believe the same LIE I have been believing. Without going into too many specifics I will say this, I didn't believe God's love was for me. I knew it with my head I guess, but I certainly did not know it with my heart. Failing in marriage and being the one who filed for divorce just added to the evidence I believed making me officially undeserving and unworthy of God's love. In reality I not only officially know I am love, I can feel it. YALL my chains are gone. As I reread my verse for the day the thought of talking to God in this way doesn't catch me off guard like it did this morning because in a loving relationship there is safety.
Well that's it friend! That's what I got today. It feels pretty darn awesome too. I can't wait to see what else changes now that I am living from a position of feeling "loved by God" vs just reading about God's love and doing everything I can to earn His love.
I now know I am not only loved, but I am worthy of Love and FULLY accepted too! #TGBTG
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