1 Samuel 19: Given Over, Not Given Up: Wrestling with Saul’s Story and God’s Love

This hit very close to home today in many ways, "An evil spirit sent from the Lord?Does the Lord send the evil spirits?" I can understand God allowing things. I can even understand Him lifting His hand of protection when we persist in sin, but sending an evil spirit? I don't know that feels theologically off considering what I feel I know about the character of God.

As I prayed In It, I sensed the Lord showing me: this isn’t about God delighting in Saul’s torment. It’s about Saul choosing his own way again and again—and God honoring that choice. Saul had rejected God’s instructions, clung to pride and control, and finally, after many mercies and warnings, God let him walk the path he’d chosen.

What looks like God giving up is actually Him respecting the free will He gave us—even when it breaks His heart.

My mama Heart Is hurting as I process this, especially now that I have adult children. Having two out of the house has shown me how important it is not only to let them make their own choices—but to let them experience the consequences of those choices, whether they’re good or hard.

That is so hard sometimes. I can want healing, recovery, or growth for my child with all my heart. I can try to support, encourage, even intervene, but unless they want it for themselves, my efforts don’t take root. That doesn’t mean I stop praying. I don’t stop seeking the Lord on their behalf. I do have to surrender—trusting that God loves them even more than I do. Trusting that His mercy is still at work. That’s what I see in Saul’s story. God “giving him over” wasn’t God giving up. It was God giving Saul the freedom to choose, while still unfolding His redemptive plan.

Here is the cool part, where Saul’s story ends in tragedy, ours doesn’t have to. Saul was given over to himself, but Jesus gave Himself for us. Where we deserve to bear the weight of our rebellion, Jesus bore it on the cross. That's good news AND that is my prayer for my children and myself. Soften our hearts Lord to where we insist on having our own way. Help us (my children & I) lay it down. Keep us close--I don't want to be given over or watch my child be "given" over.

📚 Scriptures for Reflection:

• 1 Samuel 19:9

• 1 Samuel 16:14

• Psalm 81:11–12

• Romans 1:24–28

• Ephesians 2:4–5

💛 Encouragement: If you’re a parent walking this road—or simply someone trying to trust God with a loved one’s choices—you’re not alone. His mercy is still at work. Let’s keep praying, trusting, and surrendering together.