He Was Yours First: 2 Samuel 3

“And even though I am the anointed king, these two sons of Zeruiah—Joab and Abishai—are too strong for me to control. So may the Lord repay these evil men for their evil deeds.” —2 Samuel 3:39 NLT

It's been a week, maybe a month...Not in a dramatic way—but in that way where a weight

hangs on your heart and you keep praying, asking, pleading with the Lord…"What do I do here, Lord?"

I’ve been struggling with how to discipline one of my sons (I’ll keep him nameless out of respect). His behavior has been challenging to say the least, and I’ve felt unsure how to respond. I know my job is to teach, to guide, to correct, to model—I’ve also been deeply aware of my own people-pleasing tendencies. I don’t want to damage the relationship or make things worse. As a single mom, raising a boy on the verge of manhood, it can feel especially complicated when there’s a lack of respect or honor. (What am I going to do, wrestle him to the ground. The look doesn't quite work like it once did.)

How do I discipline someone who feels too strong for me to control? How do I hold my ground while holding onto love?

Today's chapter had my thoughts spinning already. The chapter is so full of sin and brokenness—murder, pride, alliances, betrayals. It’s a mess. Then, right at the end, David—the king, no less—admits feeling absolutely helpless, “These two sons of Zeruiah—Joab and Abishai—are too strong for me to control. So may the Lord repay these evil men for their evil deeds.”

RIGHT THERE nestled in scripture David is surrendering what should happen to the Lord. It was if the Lord was like, "give him to me darling."

Yes Lord, “He is Your son before he was ever mine. Discipline him accordingly.” What an answer to prayer this was. I don’t have to carry it all. I’m not meant to. I can surrender—not as someone giving up, but as someone giving over.

That boy of mine? The Lord loves him more than I do. AND the Lord is my covering.

That might be the most beautiful thing I saw today: God is my covering.

The Lie that the enemy loves to hold over me is, Im alone, no husband to help, Im on my own, out of options...etc. Nope! Im covered by the Lord Himself. How about that! BOOM. He sees me. He strengthens me. He upholds me. He corrects my child better than I ever could. I’m not alone in this.

Lord, thank You that I don’t have to carry this burden on my own. You are my strength and my covering. Help me parent with wisdom, humility, and courage—and when it’s too much, remind me to surrender. Thank You for loving my children even more than I do. Amen.