Often times as I start reading the Word in the morning I'll grab a cup of coffee, put on some worship music and dive in. This morning this was the song I played: The Blessing Song
It's been a week. Whom I kidding, it's been a good 10 days of getting myself in order as I get home, back to REAL life and in fully holiday prep mode. I have not missed a morning with the Lord however I have been a total miss for the blog. Lately Im noticing Im spending a ton of in prayer and worship. Ive been just sitting in the Lord's presence allowing Him to love on me and cherishing this beautiful gift we have been given through the gift of His son. As I have read these last few chapters and the various plagues being cast down I can't help sit here feeling amazed, that while the Lord sees the way in which His people are being hurt, He continues to allow Pharaoh to be stubborn. “But the Lord hardened Pharaoh’s heart, and he was unwilling to let them go.” Exodus 10:27 CSB
I cannot believe the number of times pharaoh’s heart was hardened to all the disasters that were happening all around him, to him and to those he leads. The Bible clearly tells us the Lord was keeping Pharaoh hardened and stubborn. That blows my mind. I can't help but think, "Okay already...Lets get moving!" There are so many HARD things happening I can't help but wonder WHY and HOW MUCH LONGER?
I too have been in quite a season of hard things. Some of the things Im walking through and out of have definitely been self inflicted, while others are the consequences of others’ "stubborn & hardened" hearts. What I'm seeing for the first time so clearly is the Lord was the one allowing his heart to remain hardened. That's heavy. Why, why would He do that? It causes me to go deeper asking the Lord to reveal himself to me in this season. I want my faith to be strengthen and my belief to grow.
I can only imagine the awe and trembling the Israelites sensed as they watched all these things happen. There is no denying they had favor and were being protected in many ways yes, but they are still smack dab in the middle of the mess Pharoah was bringing on Egypt and those who lived there. As the Plague of the locusts came today I felt terrified on their behalf. I found myself asking, "Lord, when will it end? How much longer will this go on?"
“But God kept Pharaoh stubborn as ever. He wouldn’t agree to release them.”
Exodus 10:27 MSG
Okay so we know (for those of us familiar with the text) we are almost to the part of the story where the Israelites are free to go, but that doesn't necessarily help me today with the very things Im wrestling with. I can relate with the feeling of "How much longer and when will this end?"
I may not be experiencing plagues, thankfully, but things are crazy ya'll. Life is crazy. X-husbands are hard. Raising teens and adult children keeps me on my toes. Having a blended family
doesn't come without complications. I am learning to apply so many tools I have learned to walk through many of these hard things in healthy ways versus old patterns of unhealthy coping mechanisms. I cannot know for certain when or how things will go I can yield to the one who does. (I love this song, Make Room by Kim Walker-Smith). Scripture teaches us about Daddy, His character and how He works. “Now it happened after a long time [about forty years] that the king of Egypt died. And the children of Israel (Jacob) groaned and sighed because of the bondage, and they cried out. And their cry for help because of their bondage ascended to God. So God heard their groaning and God remembered His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob (Israel). [Gen 12:1-3; 15:18-21; 17:3-8, 21; 35:10-12] God saw the sons of Israel, and God took notice [of them] and was concerned about them [knowing all, understanding all, remembering all]. [Ps 56:8, 9; 139:2]”. Exodus 2:23-25 AMP.
Here is my prayer this morning (including scripture of course)
Lord you have said over and over how you remember your people and were concerned about them. Lord I know you see me, you remember me and are concerned for me. The best part is you are not simply concerned for me and my children. You are also a good father to my X. As hard as that is to digest (concerning the X) it's true and I do want what is best for all of us. Lord give me clarity. Im asking you to strengthen me. Remind me you are in control even of the hardened hearts around me. Help me rest in you with the things I can't control while I do the things necessary for the things I can control. I am so thankful you are Lord of it all!
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